Millennial Mom’s tale begins with Myth, which examines our pursuit of happiness through perfection and validation from others.  In Millennial Mom Battles Mediocrity, I address the illusion that achieving a certain weight or physical accomplishment will deliver that sense of worthiness and wholeness we all desire.  That all will be right in our world, if only we be can be… better than we are now.

WHAT I WAS DOING

For years I pursued this illusion — if only I could lean down and get fit, look “beautiful”, wear my favorite clothes again, my worries would be over.   I would finally feel I was there, I was okay, I was worth something.

I wanted to be one of the strongest women at my gym and pushing hard was my plan to get there.  I wanted to prove myself awesome, and get the approval of others.  I wanted to be and feel special.  As a result, I ignored my body’s whispers, and then my body’s shouts, until pain was with me day and night.

WHAT HAPPENED

I never did achieve MM’s body.  But I did reach my leanest and strongest, a physique where people noticed and complimented me.  And was I finally happy, did I feel good enough?  No.  It was never enough.  I still felt like I had to get to the next level to be there.  Looking for validation outside of myself, thinking that others’ approval would make everything right inside was misguided.

Heeding wise counsel that shifted my perception, I pulled back, modified my form and weights, and finally found what I really wanted — to be at peace with my body.

WHAT IT’S LIKE NOW

I LOVE going to the gym, and think it’s the best medicine around.  I feel strong and healthy.  But I’m not a superstar.  My fitness is, well… ordinary, and today that’s okay.  I am perfect and special for who I am and (on the good days) don’t need to do anything or earn anyone’s approval to feel worthy.  Always aiming toward energy-enhancing physical performance and nutrition habits, my approach now is softer — it’s about long-term health, and preservation of my joints and tendons, so I can enjoy being active long into old age.  Today, rest and recovery are equally important as time at the gym.

A MESSAGE FOR YOU

For those of you who do like to push it hard at the gym, this post is not about judgement.  Physical excellence is a beautiful expression of our life force and an honouring of our gifts.  I’m speaking only of my path.

Most importantly, in case no one ever told YOU this before…

You don’t need to be perfect — not accomplished, nor lean and fit, nor special in any way — to be worthy of love. You are loveable and beautiful and perfect, right now, just as you are. Really.

MILLENNIAL MOM SHOW

Millennial Mom Battles Mediocrity and other works from the Millennial Mom collection will exhibit September-October, 2019, at Capitol Theatre in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada.

I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome.

               – My favourite poster at my gym